at least when you are hanging out with yourself, you get to pick the music
A Mom went to have dinner with her son who lives with his roommate.
During the course of the meal, his mother couldn’t help but notice how handsome his roommate was. She had been suspicious about her sons sexuality but being a good mother she felt that he would let her know if and when the time was right but seeing the two together just made her more curious.
Over the course of the evening, while watching the interaction between the two she wondered even more if there was more here than meets the eye. Her son, sensing his mothers watchfully eye volunteered, “really Mom, I can tell what you’re thinking and you can just get it out of your mind, we are just roommates and nothing more”.
About a week later the roommate remarked, “ever since your mother was here the silver serving platter has been missing, do you think she took it?”
He responded, “Well I’m sure she didn’t but I will email her and ask just to be sure” he sat down and wrote:
I’m not saying you did take the silver platter from the house and I am not saying you didn’t take it but the fact remains that it has been missing ever since you were here for dinner.
A couple days later he got a response from his mother:
I am not saying that you do sleep with your roommate and I am not saying that you don’t sleep with him and you know I love you and could care less either way but the fact remains that if he was sleeping in his own bed he would have found the platter under his pillow.
When are the two of you coming for dinner?
When your sneeze turns into a fucking death metal scream
If your name is Frank and you don’t use the opportunity to say “let me be frank with you” every day then you are truly dead to me
the Cold War is basically just the United State and the Soviet Union saying how big of a penis they have but when it comes down to it neither of them actually want to flash the other to show for fear the other actually does have a bigger penis
Holy shit, that’s spot on
I don’t post faulty penis analogies so of course it is
this is the best one go home
twinkle twinkle little star
why is art so fuCKING HARD
twinkle twinkle little FUCK
I give up.
This is my anthem
this sounds like my url
are there actually people out there who make their beds every morning or is that just a myth
Wait for a bit.
Then proceed to howl together to find more of your pack.